IT comes, lurking in the day. Feeding on the souls of innocent women…Smelling of Elizabeth Arden White Diamonds and unattainable expectations. Dressed in black (ever since the wedding day) IT’s taste glands are only satisfied when IT criticizes the meals of IT’s victims…. IT’s the ever dreaded MONSTER IN LAW!!!!!! Or, in more “politically correct” terms, the Mother In Law…Dun dun dun!
Run for your lives, ladies! With the holidays around the corner, we know we have to deal with the monster in law. The time of year, every red-blooded married female dreads. Now, some of you, that live in fairytale land, don’t know what I’m talking about. You are confused by this term “monster in law” because your mother in law and you get along splendid and everything is butterflies and lollipops. Well, I’ve got news for you chick….not all of us are so lucky. Some of us have the soul-sucking monster in laws to deal with. The kind of in law that takes satisfaction in letting you know on a regular basis that you are not good enough for her son.
Seems messed up, right? Well, I know from personal experience, that A LOT of us deal with this nightmare. You may think I am being too harsh, but have you ever been told by your mother in law “she’s a pretty girl, but ugly hides”?...Granted, when this woman said this about me, she had NEVER met me before and was going off a picture that her son showed her, so obviously her comments were justified (insert eye roll). IMMEDIATELY I was not good enough for her. Fast forward a few months later, when she was coming to our house to meet me for the first time after we just moved in together. I was determined, as any young naive girl is, to get this woman to like me. For goodness sakes, EVERYONE LIKES ME so she was going to like me too, dammit! I prepped and cleaned and re-organized the house with the vigor of an Olympic Curler. Everything was in place for her visit, everything was perfect.
Needless to say, all of my efforts in being the picture perfect daughter in law went to waste. Nothing I did was good enough. The term “I’ve seen better” or “I’ve had better” was used with excessive frequency. The reality hit me like a Mac Truck -this woman will never like me. No matter how perfect the house is, no matter how delicious the meal. No matter how much I love her son and the family we’ve created, she is unable to accept the fact that her gift to this earth has “replaced” the woman in his life. It hurt and it stung and I was constantly wondering “what I did wrong?” Then I had an epiphany…It’s not my issue, it’s hers! I’m a good person and I do the best I can every day. My relationship with her son is strong so why was I trying so hard to change myself into someone that she would like?
We all want the fairytale, and you’re kidding yourself if you say you don’t. It would be great if I had the loving mother in law that dotes after me and wants to be apart of my life, but the facts are I don’t. What I do have is an INCREDIBLE partner. One that always supports me and is constantly on my side. A partner that I wouldn’t have if it wasn’t for the fire-breathing monster so I have to give her some credit. And on top of that, because of the love I have for him, I will put up with her insults and her snide comments because I found someone that is worth it. Hopefully, this is the same for all you other ladies!
So, as we prepare for this holiday season, keep your head up and know that you are not alone! There is a whole community of us out there that suffer from the dreaded monster in law. Your ham is NOT going to be over-cooked, the decorations ARE perfect and that new haircut you have is LOVELY. Know that when you escape to your closet to cry, we’re there crying too…Stay strong sister, stay strong.
Love the Rehab Gaming Team.
Photo Credit: Katarzyna Bialasiewicz | Dreamstime.com